Big Brother

Good grammar is good

Okay, so more from my marathon listening sessions of old podcasts from Dan Savage.... It is pretty much hilarious, sad, disturbing and sometimes enlightening all wrapped up in one. Just heard one where a guy walks in on his girlfriend masturbating to the grammar girl podcast. At first he thought she was gay and was maybe turned on by the woman's voice but noooooooo it turns out she has a "grammar fetish." Now she wants him to talk about grammar in bed and he can't do it without laughing. If you get the opportunity you should really listen to that one because it is hilarious. At first Dan absolutely does not believe this guy but by the end of the call, it seems like there's no way he could be making it up.

Anyway, ever since I heard it, I can't stop giggling and thinking about posting on the Legal Writing Instructor listserv for the first time with a link to that podcast. ha ha ha. Maybe I'll do it right before I resign ;-)

This is what I'm doing instead of grading...

beautiful baby

That would be just my luck

Listening to the Savage Love podcast this morning and someone asks, what about fingering my girlfriend while driving? Not a good idea. Dan says, if texting is dangerous..... But here's the part that cracks me up, he says, "I'm such a pessimist, if I did something like that, there'd be no doubt - that's how I would die. Can you imagine? They find you dead in the car, hands up someone's skirt." Is it weird that I have the same mindset as the gay male sex columnist? That's exactly what I thought listening to the caller. Further, I'm always thinking crap like that. Like for example, what if I died tonight? Someone please please please come clean my house. And do something with my bathroom. Heaven forbid people find out I really do live like this.

Finally, I'm totally addicted to Dan Savage's podcasts but I can't drive around with the top down or the windows open with it playing -- I drove through Starbucks yesterday and about pulled the volume button off of the radio trying to turn it down when he was discussing whether there is any way to "gently" tell your girlfriend that the other girl in the three-way gives better blow jobs. Not to mention the fact that he sprinkles "fuck" into the conversation as often as everyone else uses the word "the." I almost typed "the 'f' word" but really, I just pulled up my dormant blog to type out two paragraphs on how I can't stop listening to a sex advice podcast. I am pretty sure I can say fuck in this one.

I know, let's wash every single thing in the house. And are you sure you don't want a mohawk?

I just read this and it rang true here. Last month, one kid threw up for 2 days and 2 nights. We all felt great for the next 2 days. then the next kid threw up for 2 days and 2 nights. We all felt great for 2 days. then the last kid threw up for 2 days and 2 nights -- and that happened the last night of girl scout camp. I ended up loading Scout into the car at 3:35am and driving 2 hours to get home. She really didn't want to clean up the campsite on Sunday morning.

Now, two days ago, the Finn came down with conjunctivitis or as we affectionately refer to it here, eye boogers. I have been a broken record -- stay away from her, wash your hands. wash your hands. wash your hands! Today, the school nurse called. Before she could say a thing, I yelled "no" into the phone. And then when she started talking, "a child in your son's class has lice..." I repeated "NO!!!" She closed with. "okay, well come get him and have a nice weekend." ha ha ha. Now we are in the middle of washing every single thing in the house, including about six thousand webkinz pulled out from underneath the bed, and still yelling at the kids to stay away from each other. And for the love of all that is holy - wash your hands wash your hands wash your hands! I'm down to 1 healthy kid and she just mentioned that her stomach hurts. I told her she is absolutely not allowed to get sick and that is final. Oh and wash your hands!

Day 2: The Mojo Continues

Even though Jude had to leave us to head to the Capitol for work, her mojo stayed with us for some sightseeing the next day. When we saw the line wrapped around the building to the Holocaust Museum, in the freezing cold remember, we retreated to the Museum cafe to figure out what to do instead.

Here's where we ended up:

See that line? We jumped in it.

And after waiting a little while, we were ushered into the entryway and through the first round of security and the first metal detector. We then put all our stuff, hats, gloves, coats, phones, cameras, everything, into a locker and went to stand in another line. Then we made it through the next metal detector and waited outside the door to THE COURTROOM. The door was opened for us and we squeezed into seats in the very back row. As soon as we sat down, counsel rested and the court recessed for lunch!

But...

We still had some of the mojo because after a bit of pleading, instead of getting sent back outside -- in the cold -- to start all over again and listen to this lady some more...

We put our stuff back into the locker, went back through the second metal detector, and stood in line in front of THE DOOR. We saw lunch being delivered to the SUPREME COURT JUSTICES! And then, after a short easy wait (inside where it was warm), we were again ushered in. And we got to see entire oral argument before the SUPREME COURT JUSTICES. Very cool.

And all thanks to Jude's mojo.

Some more pics from the day:

Yes We Did!

On November 4, 2008,

We voted....On January 19, 2009,

a few good friends and I met up in DC to see history happen

Kirby wore her "special" glassesOur lovely hostess, Jean, welcomed us to Oakland Green B&B

On January 20, 2009,

We woke up VERY EARLY (but still Jean showed us the news reports of people already beginning to fill up the mall), bundled up, drove down the dirt road in the dark, across the one lane bridge, dodged some deer, and made our way to the busstop where we loaded up, took the bus to the Metro Station and
waited in line for Metro tickets ...

and waited in line hoping for a wee bit of space on a train...

Along with lots of other very cold but very happy folks all excited to be part of the big day

Jude made a call to report on our progress...

And just when we thought we'd have to take the train out to the last stop and come back in, we squeezed in. As Leslee says, it was like playing twister standing up. I ducked under someone's arm and stepped over a leg or two. She backed up against the wall of the train and we saw Jude and Kirby getting nudged toward the back of the car. We did become fast friends with the people smooshed up against us. On our little train, we met a woman from Las Vegas, a couple from Texas, three sisters from Jacksonville (!) and one poor guy trying to get to work. I would've taken a picture of inside the train, but I couldn't move my arm to reach my camera. Really. That's what I mean by "smooshed."

Despite the "smooshedness," every single person was bursting with excited anticipation.

The stations inside the perimeter were closed, and various stops close to our destination were opening and closing based on the crowds. Lucky for us, our stop opened just before we arrived. So we exited at what was the closest stop to the office. And started walking the streets ...

We'd heard they were closing all security entrances at 10am. The first line we came to was a block wide and about two blocks long. Plus, someone official looking was shouting that we only had 45 minutes to get in! Again, I would have taken a picture of this line but we were busy trying to stake out another way in.

Luckily for all of us, Jude had the mojo.

With nothing more than her good looks, and a piece of paper printed out from an email on a printer running out of ink, Jude's smooth talking self was able to cajole a police officer into letting us essentially "jump the fence" into the perimeter and avoid the security lines altogether. This was a mere minutes after another meany cop yelled to another group of folks that they just "should've gotten up earlier." (Are you kidding????!!!! He must've been a Republican because he was the only slightly cranky person we met all day)

We then were able to talk our way into the residence entrance of the office building where we waited for our escort up to the office.

We waited along with another girl who was trying to explain to those security people that she was the person everyone else was supposed to call to let them up into the building so the request that she call someone in the office would go unanswered. And no, she couldn't call herself to let herself up."

We made it in!

Other than the people who got up at 2am to set up, we were among the first to arrive. We checked out the place, met Therisa (that's her right up there!), Julie and Tim the bartenders, sampled some Obama-Rama drinks and a bloody mary or two, ate a few chocolate croissants and some fruit, scoped out the best office window to watch the parade, looked out the window to the crowds on the mall, and staked out a good spot in the conference room to watch the Inaugural address on the big screen.



Here's Julie...



Here's the view of Pennsylvania Ave. Check out the police officers lining the parade route...

Here's Jude enjoying an Obama-Rama

See the snipers on the top of the building across the street? They were everywhere...

After scouting out the best spot to watch the parade, we joined everyone in the conference room for the ceremony.

Next up, the parade. This is what the building next door looked like before the parade...

And this is what happened for the parade

What we were all waiting for...


Later, back on the streets

After a train, bus and car ride later (and after we were kicked off of one train because someone refused to stop blocking the door!), we eventually made it back to the cozy comfort of the Magnolia's at the Mill restaurant and then Oakland Green.

p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUDE !!!!!!

The next morning, breakfast by Jean Thanks Jean!

Morning at the beach

Just fyi. To the drivers I encountered this morning...

If you have a "first or second generation" Mazda RX-7 with a bad paint job, you do not need the secure your car with THE CLUB.

Also, if you drive a 1985ish Toyota Camry with 3 hubcaps and rusty fenders, you can drive faster than ONE MILE PER HOUR over the baby speed bumps (that are more paint than bumps) on the way into your parking garage.

And finally, if you drive a mini-van, trust me I am more concerned about my car than you are about yours. Don't worry about how close I parked to you.

Things I've been meaning to write about lately...

Wolf lost his first tooth. He's so grown up.

Scout got a big haircut.
And donated her hair to locks of love.

I thought she'd be a little freaked out once the hair was gone, but no, she loved it. Plus, she wanted to take the hair to the "little kid who needed some hair" right away, but she wanted to know how far away she lived in case we needed to pack snacks for the drive.

She looks so grown up now too. It's scary.