Just fyi. To the drivers I encountered this morning...

If you have a "first or second generation" Mazda RX-7 with a bad paint job, you do not need the secure your car with THE CLUB.

Also, if you drive a 1985ish Toyota Camry with 3 hubcaps and rusty fenders, you can drive faster than ONE MILE PER HOUR over the baby speed bumps (that are more paint than bumps) on the way into your parking garage.

And finally, if you drive a mini-van, trust me I am more concerned about my car than you are about yours. Don't worry about how close I parked to you.